NG'ETHU STAR

Yes I did it: The PhD Feeling and Dreams

2008-11-04T08:11:00.000-08:00

In line with my previous posts, my PhD Viva was held, coincidentally, on my birthday; the 3rd of October 2008. In response to the overwhelming congratulatory messages from my family, close friends and colleagues, I felt that I must summarise my journey leading up to the triumphatic feat that was achieved. Indeed, many have asked how it must feel to shine on such a momentous occasion which in its own unique way, has cemented my academic foundation and ushered in a new era in my life. Since being awarded the doctorate, every moment has felt like a quiet afternoon with the fresh air forming some summer saxophone note, rising and falling on a warm breeze. With jewels in my heart, it is heaven here and the light that glows inside my heart feels like the salvation that will hopefully free my soul and brighten many others.

But as with most sweet victories, the road I travelled up to this point was not always smooth. Firstly, it was not always easy being an E-student at Mangu High, one of Kenya’s leading national secondary schools. And being constantly reminded that I was a kumutha who got into Mangu through the ‘back door’ was particularly unwelcoming. But my newly acquired status as an academic and a Doctor of Philosophy means that few will now refer to me as the boy who got his admission through his dad’s pocket. I can still hear their whispers back then as they dined with their fellow intellectual giants. Yet ironically, it is such dismissive talk, mixed with the rich culture within that great school that continues to shape me and strengthen the man that I am today.

In particular, being in the ‘Panthers’ Basketball team, which was coached by a man that believed in winning against all odds, certainly helped me to believe that success is created in the mind. No wonder that despite being rejected by most Kenyan universities due to my modest grades, the utmost belief in myself later enabled me to attain a Bachelor of Laws degree from the University of Kent with honours. And to further silence the sceptics, I later achieved a Distinction in the LLM Public International Law and attained an Award of Academic Excellence from the University of London. But it is the subsequent grant of a full Scholarship from the University of Sheffield that led many to start seeing the fuller picture what was destined to emerge.

Overall, in considering my purpose on life, I see myself as an idea that must find expression. In the very least, I hope that my story peels away the layers of doubt that covers many of those that are discouraged by exclusive and bureaucratic systems. Anyone, and everyone, deserves a chance at the shot. And I must thank all those that have supported me throughout my academic expedition. Everyone should have the chance to see what I said on very first post of this blog; that amidst life's daily struggles, pain and endless enduring hurdles, there exists colour and beauty and that the world is both colourful and beautiful. Therefore it is important to stay close to the personal dreams that befriend you. In my own journey, I can safely say that the willingness to pay the full price for the cost of my dreams and to take responsibility for my life continues to act as an incentive, as well as reward, for my complete personal maturity.

The end of an Era and the Beginning of Another

2008-09-12T14:43:00.000-07:00

My decision to start this blog three years ago was informed by what I already knew would be in store for me as I embarked on my research. And in the same way, as in the beginning, with my writing having served its purpose, I must now prepare to bring the blog to a conclusion. After three years of dedication and hard work on my PhD, my Viva Voce is now only three weeks away. With my thesis already submitted and in the hands of my examiners, I can feel that I deserve more from life. Therefore, destined for great heights and bigger things, I am now knocking on the doors of success and satisfaction . The world is now mine.

In preparation of my Viva Voce, which is the oral examination that I must in order to attain a Doctorate, I have made a list of what I feel is necessary for me to satisfy the examiners; that my research is original and makes a significant contribution to knowledge. And as I wrote the list, I realised that the requisite attributes for a successful Viva are actually the ingredients for success in life. As I have said before, there is a thin line between the attitude that a Doctorate student must exhibit and the professonalism that is needed to conclude a good research project. It is for this reason that my list contains both spiritual and formal values that are necessary, not only for short term projects but for life in general.

Therefore, during my Viva that is to be held on the 3^rd of October 2008, which coincidentally falls on my birthday, I plan to display the following qualities;vision, confidence, grace, honesty, precision, eloquence, tact, maturity, profesionalism, clarity, politeness, compassion, integrity, sacrifice, passion, enthusiasm, brilliance, finese, calm, dedication,openess, creativity, assertiveness, a sense of humour, responsibility, consistency, efficiency, respect, persuation, empathy, flexibility, preparation, thought, reflection, and, most of all, I shall be myself. As they say, the rest shall be history. But most importantly, it shall also be the foundation that ushers in a new era, whose prosperous future stems from time immemorial.

Thesis: The preparation for Submission

2008-07-26T13:45:00.000-07:00

It is official, the next time I write on this page, I shall have submitted my PhD thesis in Law entitled: African Regional Peace and Security under the African Union’s Constitutional Framework: Conflict of Compatibility with the UN and International Law? Indeed it has been a most fascinating expedition. And now, more than ever, I know that amidst life's daily struggles, pain and endless enduring hurdles, there exists colour and beauty and that the world is both colourful and beautiful. My thesis has led me to analyse and re-analyse what it means to be me. It led me to question where exactly in the universe that I find expression. And the most fundamental truth that I found is that I am inextricably linked to the independent souls of other individuals, which in turn, are related to the community and other societies. Though forming an autonomous unit of my own, I represent only part of a structure embedded within a wider web of humanity.

My studies have not purely been an academic exercise. Indeed, the submission of my thesis means more yet another law degree in the bag. It is yet another step on the way to the podium. I have always viewed myself as an idea that must find expression. But then it also means finding that which makes me who I am. Like many others, this is a question that I have to face again and again. Almost everyday, my perception of the world compels me to ask myself whether I identify myself first and foremost with my family, my ethnic tribe, my country, my region or my continent. My parents grew up in an African village called Ngethu in the Central Province of Kenya. I was born in the city but grew up in the village where we speak ‘kikuyu’ only to go back to the heart of Nairobi for college. Now I find myself in Sheffield, far away from the motherland. The overlapping contrasts and similarities of the environment that have been part of this life’s journey have shaped me and become part of my identity. The experiences of Ngethu, the drumbeats in Nairobi and the technological advancement in Sheffield have all become part of who I am. But so have the few glimpses of the stop-overs in Harare, Amsterdam, and Kampala amongst others.

The natural unity of brotherhood with peoples from different backgrounds and the few phrases of French, Chinese and Italian that I have learnt all add to the Swahili and Kikuyu that I was taught as a child. My family is now composed of people I consider my best friends and my ethnic tribe serves not as a complete description of my identity but only as a critical component of it. My country is a mere geographical location in which I was born to be blessed and it is the interaction with its peoples that adds to my identity. There is no doubt that I am an African and proud at that. However, one thing remains true, that identity develops and adapts to changing environments. I was born in African to have an international identity.

With the submission now eminent, I find myself right on track literally by the years with the personal dreams that befriended me, the dreams that due to my past could only be shared with my parents and close friends. But now I can safely say, I have come of age. All my beliefs principles and all that I stand for in this life are coming together. So everyday, I pray that tomorrow comes. And I dream as a child that one day I shall be one of those that brighten African cities and villages, to inspire hope and preach the rejection of fatality. And although I am insignificant from the skies, the submission of my thesis is at least a page of history that an African wrote for the continent and the world.

The Past, the Great River Chania and the Future

2008-05-14T07:43:00.000-07:00

I AM suspended in ecstasy. For three years, I have worked and re-worked my thesis chapters. And for the very first time last week, I printed it all out. Indeed, it is when it became clear to me that a single thought had spread out to become almost 100,000 words. My personal satisfaction led me to remember the day I established this blog. Back then, I phrased it to describe what I understood of myself at the time. As a work in progress, I have evolved and developed. Still I am that star; one of the billions that seek to shine in this dark world. And hopefully, we will glow enough for all to see that the universe is full of colour and beauty and it is love that makes the world go round. My thesis demonstrates this belief in its own profound way.

CERTAINLY my journey to the current point represents the complete embodiment of the African dream. A grandson of a freedom fighter, I grew up in Ngethu right by the side of River Chania. I always take my friends there and show them the bridge that my father always took my brother and myself to. Standing on the overpass, beneath streams the river that befriended our past generations. The great Chania River will live forever, for all times. You can hear the sounds and the roaring of the river as you walk down the valley by father's house. During our forefathers' heroic and enduring struggles, Chania's waters cleansed their sweating and bruised bodies and our women fetched its waters; sweet waters that fed a lifetime.

LIKE many that live in Africa, the introduction to life in the City takes away all past innocence. And hence, through the eyes of my heart, I looked to the world and saw love, disillusion, pain and happiness. Indeed, the good and the bad co-exist on the same side of the coin. The universe is truly beautiful; the world hurts so much. So my mind became a field of snow and pure waters of fresh serenity and landmines. In here I run all my life and not tire. And only herein am I truly and fully supreme; unrestricted by the ways of evil men. In Each Breath and at Each Step, all the days of my life, I have breathed in and out-in and out! There is no greater joy and no greater pain than that brought by this miracle.

FOR as long as I live, for as long as my heart beats, I will wonder in amazement at life's beauty. I will trudge on excited that I walk on this earth. Now thousands of miles from the motherland, I wait for my own moment of triumph. Matches are won everyday so I will not stray until my flash of brilliance changes the world. Indeed, the viva is coming soon and there after, I will start my life on a new page and my work will not possess a drop of past ink. In the end, Destiny has no recollection but is an end to all that is born.

A Story of Progress

2008-03-22T17:52:00.000-07:00

I have always thought of myself as a work in progress. I engaged with the world from a tender age and I always pondered on how and where I fit in the bigger picture that is life. From my childhood I placed images on the future in my mind and constantly thought and dreamed of successful moments that befriended me. And just like I have developed to become a man, so has my thesis progressed from a mere idea to a substantial work of scholarly art.

The pace is now intense as I come close to completion of the PhD. And it reminds me of those beautiful days at the University of London where I strained and studied so hard, lived in the excitement of knowing I would emerge one of the best students. How so I feel now? I am even more confident and I know I am capable of making a great impression.

The PhD is examined through a viva. Basically, I have to defend my thesis to a panel of experts of international law. It must be shown that my work is original and makes a significant contribution to knowledge. That a whole three years of work will be determined by my performance in one or two hours is intriguing.

But it is the preparation that I embark on that is the full measure. I have now become my own critic and a perfectionist at that. I have notes and reminders posted on my wall. I continue to keenly read on anything with regard to the viva. Furthermore, I have been reading a lot, particularly on philosophy as well as watching debates and other communication material, including the Prime minister’s question time on the BBC news channel.

My confidence, eloquence and passion in articulating the subject has grown immensely. This is a significant page in my history and that of my family and all those that my efforts represent. It is a time of reflection, calm, peace, anxiety, turbulence and all the essentials of a healthy life. I write a thesis, but it is also an African story, my story.

The Threads of My Essence: Full Circle

2008-03-19T11:48:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I last wrote here. In fact, it’s a first this year. And time has flown. My life has taken a cruel beating since the chaotic elections in Kenya altered my perception on things and destabilised my senses. And even more disturbingly, it led to the deaths of thousands and left hundred of thousands homeless. Simply put, Kenyan burnt and as it did, I lived a full life, of pain and sadness but also of love and faith. In order to understand the correlation between this event, my life and that of many others, a bit of background is essential.

I was only 14 years old when the Rwandan genocide occurred. That dark period saw the slaughter of up to one million Tutsis and moderate Hutus, as the world stood aside and watched. I only understood later that my new found Rwandese friends were refugees and that the reason Uganda’s economy performed so poorly was due to the barbarism that Idi Amin unleashed on his own people. Fortunately, ten years later, I was at the University of London, well equipped as a lawyer to investigate the international community’s ambivalent attitude towards Africa.

And I do remember the particular day that the UN Secretary General stood at the Memorial Conference on the Rwanda Genocide in 2004 to mark the 10^th anniversary of the 1994 genocide and express his deep sense of remorse on behalf of the world. And I remember it so well because as the Kofi Annan gripped his audience with his well know eloquence, a somewhat similar catastrophe was underway in Darfur region in the Sudan. And it was then that my mind was made up to write an essay on the Darfur for my LLM. Not only did my paper score a distinction, it has literally shaped my life.

But who would have thought that images of Kenyans hurling machetes at each other would be screened across the globe, and with such intensity? And how would I approach such an analysis given the combination of my own innocence, naivety, education and pride of being a Kenyan? What I learnt with regard to Kenya and the face of utter horror within the last few months has transformed me into a maturity of contradiction. Now with a clear mind, I can look back and reflect on the lessons learnt and uncover the blur that prevented me from updating my blog. There are many stories to be told, and so I share mine, before convicting Kenyans of complicity, if not active participation in turning the island of peace to utter hell.

I am one of the people who went back to Kenya to vote. And you can imagine how excited I was having missed the huge celebration of 2002. For me, December 2007 was going to be the first time to vote as I was too young in 1997. I couldn’t wait!! Armed with the voting card, I queued with Kenyans. We joked and laughed as well as helped old women to vote, indeed a show of Kenyan spirit. That was the last positive thing I thought of Kenya. And up to this day, I have been unable, even having tried, to say anything positive about Kenya. I can talk of the beauty of Maasai Mara and the Great Rift Valley, but that is not Kenyan, it is God's work of art.

For a start, the majority of Kenyans rarely consider education, health and sustainable development as a platform from which to vote for their future. I will not lecture on the importance of these concepts given that we, especially those in the Diaspora, know they shaped the developed world. Instead, Kenyans largely vote on ethnic grounds. The educated lot are generally the most hypocritical of them all. They will talk about the economy, employment and then rally behind their tribal leader as having the best vision for the country. Our fallen heroes and all others that fought for our freedom must turn in their graves.Kenyans let themselves down at all levels. The country's new found resolve must go beyond mere power sharing agreements.

Until then, for me, and with all due respect, the fact that neighbours turned on each other on account of their ethnicity, neutralises any past glory. Kenya needs an overhaul of the education system, one that buries the primitive hatred on account of ethnicity. The country also needs strong anti-tribal laws and a new culture based on diversity as a national heritage. Most of all, the nation need leaders that will deliver the Kenyan promise and complete the liberation of Kenyans that commenced time immemorial. In the end the citizens will be governed but such rule can only based on their own aspirations, hopes and dreams. God Bless Africa.

Life, PhD and BasketBall

2007-12-06T12:41:00.000-08:00

I have always believed in getting to the very top of everything I do in my life. This included my earlier years as a Basketball player where I worked hard to join the Kenya National Basketball Youth Team in 1998. Now I realise the close connection between my passion for PhD and Basketball. Ever since arriving in Sheffield, it is during this semester in which I have worked the hardest. All I have learnt, and the constant thoughts of what I want to achieve culminated in carefully and well thought out drafts. I just couldn’t stop myself from working. It had nothing to do with what I wanted or had to. I just found myself working late into the night and it has been fascinating.

I am now in a stage of discovery. Every time I read my thesis, I realise just how it makes sense. I am amazed at the manner in which all sections are connected. I also discover how each word has its own special space and significance. To be honest, I have this strong feeling that I will miss pursuing my PhD after I am done. I will miss this life, just as much as I miss playing Basketball, the game that taught and shaped me on how to approach life.

But I also face serious challenges. Now in my third and final year, there is definitely an increase in the pressure. It reminds of my Basketball days in Mangu High School. The minutes before a match would be tense. I wore the No 7 Shirt with pride. I was in the first five of the team and led in scoring throughout my stint in the first team. My mentor, Sammy Muturi, whose shirt I inherited taught me the importance of focus and meditation. And hardly did he miss any shots. I remain focussed and meditate as the PhD comes to an end.

I have always compared my life to Basketball. On a one on one basis, I believed no one could ever beat me. It became my truth. But one man can never do it alone in this world. So our Coach (Paul Otula), and who is one of the men that shaped my life, taught us the importance of teamwork. So strict was his policy that he would often request that ONE of us take a shot at the basket and if missed, ALL (the whole team) would be ordered to run on the court back and fourth, also known as suicides. Now, my supervisor, in similar fashion to my Coach, encourages me to not only get all the key arguments on board but to also critically analyse and develop them.

Whatever the date of my Viva ( PhD oral exam), I am approaching the free-throw zone about to take a shot at the basket. I have received a lot of support from many people who are aware of my current venture.And it reminds me of the days that the Basket Ball court was jammed with people cheering, ‘Tunaye Jemo, Hampampata!!’(Our James, you Cant stop him!!). I was known for my follow-through when taking a shot at the basket. It means I like to finish things well.Now, looking at the score-board, a successful defence of my Viva will ensure victory for my people and the society. Yet, deep inside, it will be my self liberation.

PhD-Final Year

2007-10-25T14:08:00.000-07:00

Two years ago, during this time, my mind was tried and troubled. It was also excited and found life fully captivating. I awaited my LLM-International Law results that I had completed n September 2005 in deep suspense. And when they finally came, the hills of Sheffield seemed to light up. I had just graduated with a Distinction and attained an Award of Academic Excellence from the University of London. Even though I believed it, this moment in time confirmed all that I ever dreamed of when I was a child: that amidst life's daily struggles, pain and endless enduring hurdles, there exists colour and beauty and that the world is both colourful and beautiful.

And now, here I am in my final year of PhD. This is it! Everyday, the moments before I close my eyes to sleep, my long showers and my long walks to and from home are full of reflection and thoughts of what lies ahead. Before I left Kenya, many women and men sang and danced, full of blessings. Their farewell at the airport made me feel as if I was being sent for our Cause. Obviously life is short and some have passed on.

But as I left Kenya from my last holiday, my dad whispered to me something that really touched me. He said that a lot is expected of me! A lot will always be expected of me. For now I know that my external examiner at my viva will expect that the work produced for my PhD. must fundamentally be original and significantly contribute to knowledge. Grand and intimidating as it may seem, I say, Bring it On!!

Why did embark on a PhD? Life is full of challenges. I strongly believe in broadcasting values that should shape our world. The PhD is stepping stone to fulfilling that inner most desire to be a player, and not a spectator, in local and world affairs. It will serve to enhance my legitimacy to speak as well as give back to the community. Knowledge is amounts to nothing if it is not shared. My PhD touches and concerns the lives of 800 million citizens and their interaction with each other and the world. Africa will find its place in the 21^st century. And I am lesser than a drop in the ocean. I am only a part of the network that will effect change. Change is coming!

My Dear Sister, Back to Sheffield and the Commonwealth Law Conference

2007-10-03T08:45:00.000-07:00

Celebrating Success

I have heard many blessings in my life! Today I speak of my sister’s birthday which was yesterday on Oct 1^st. My own birthday is today, 3^rd October. This means that on every 2^nd day of October, my dear sister and I are exactly the same age. I also wish to talk about my appearance at the Commonwealth Law Conference (2007) where I spoke to the world on the Darfur conflict.

But first, I should report that I am now back in Sheffield and now in my final year of PhD. It is a strenuous exercise, sometime a familiar journey into the unknown. It’s full of trials and challenges. Nevertheless, I am in great shape and look to the day that I will successfully defend my thesis. While that will mark the end of my studies here in Sheffield, it will form the beginning of a new chapter. I will go out to the world, well equipped to fulfil my destiny.

Franciska Wanja is my sister and she studies in Malaysia. Our birthdays are literally one day apart and only 12 months separate us. Nature has its own way of doing things and it is fascinating to look forward to that one day that we are exactly the same age. It only happens once in a year!! Our birthdays remind us how young we used to be and the dreams we have shared over the years.

Wanja is named after my grandmother, my dad’s mother. I recall when I was young, my big brother and I made it a duty to go sit alongside grandmother’s fire place. She would make very hot tea and would remove the red-hot cooking pan with her bare hands. No one dared sit on her sit. She had a pipe which my brother and I used to blow in order to keep the fire alight. She would tell us stories of grandfather and the days that the Mau Mau rebellion took place. My grandfather was a freedom fighter; he fought the British and upheld the dignity of the African. It reminds me of my thesis which in many ways does the same. They fought with arms, we fight with our minds!

Wanja in many ways represents a commitment and duty to mankind. She is very caring, will always have your back, she is very strong and courageous. She brightened my world during my many dark days. She stands out, in a family of eight siblings, as a dedicated daughter, sister and friend. Wanja is very special to me and always will be and I look to working with her in the near future. Happy birthday and God bless!!

She also remembered to wish me the very best in my address to the Commonwealth Law Conference that brought together over 2000 lawyers from around the world. This was a landmark and definitely a first for me. For the very first time, the prestigious conference was held in African since 1980.And for Nairobi, the city stood out as the best place to hold the conference. For me, it was going back home and using my country as a platform to address the issues that concern many voiceless people in Darfur and Africa.

I told the world that indeed, despite the notable efforts, things remained the same. In the aftermath of the Rwandan Genocide, the peoples of Africa continue to suffer while the international community stands in a mixture of murmurs and silence. The United Nations, the African Union, the Commonwealth need to do more for the people in Darfur. I cannot emphasise this as I have elsewhere but I was happy to hear people, including distinguished persons asking how they can help. I was happy to speak at the conference, and most of all happy to pay tribute to the presence of my own father who was part of the audience. Today I am humbled by my sister’s grace and the light that she sheds on our family and the world. That I spoke alongside the world’s leading lawyers has definitely left a distinct mark in my life. Indeed there is more to come!!

Am Identity

2007-05-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

Almost everyday, my perception of the world compels me to ask myself whether I identify myself first and foremost with my family, my ethnic tribe, my country, my region or my continent. My parents grew up in an African village called Ngethu in the Central Province of Kenya. I was born in the city but grew up in the village where we speak ‘kikuyu’ only to go back to the heart of Nairobi for college. Now I find myself in Sheffield, far away from the motherland. The overlapping contrasts and similarities of the environment that have been part of this life’s journey have shaped me and become part of my identity. The experiences of Ngethu, the drumbeats in Nairobi and the technological advancement in Sheffield have all become part of who I am. But so have the few glimpses of the stop-overs in Harare, Amsterdam, and Kampala amongst others.

The natural unity of brotherhood with peoples from different backgrounds and the few phrases of French and Italian that I have learnt all add to the Swahili and Kikuyu that I was taught as a child. My family is now composed of people I consider my best friends and my ethnic tribe serves not as a complete description of my identity but only as a critical component of it. My country is a mere geographical location in which I was born to be blessed and it is the interaction with its peoples that adds to my identity. There is no doubt that I am an African and proud at that. However, one thing remains true, that identity develops and adapts to changing environments. I was born in African to have an international identity.

Congratulations:East African Society Winners of International Cultural Night

2007-04-03T11:38:00.000-07:00

Yes we did it!! We won the University of Sheffield ’s International Cultural Night (17th March 2007). Yet again the East African Society has shown its true worth.

As president of an award winning East African Society, I wish to thank all the people that steered us to success. Special thanks to the Chair of the Black Students Committee. Importantly I wish to thank the members of the Society who stuck to a theme of not only being a representative society but a participatory society as well. Our dancers literally lit that special night, they were the stars and the ‘Chukua’ tune became our song and the dance resonated across the Octagon. The heroic dancers include:

Olivia Karanja, Lynette Chepkoech, Ronald Dix, John Kamondo, Mbugua Kuria, Elizabeth Mwansia, Daniel Maingi,Micah Mitoko, Catherine Mutonyi, Michael Mwarangu , Sylvie Nyamunga, Anne Okioga and James Muiruri

In addition to winning the International Cultural Night, our Society was also recognised for its winning performance at the International Food Evening. During our last democratic elections held on 27th/10/06, we founded our society to recognize, celebrate, and affirm the East African presence at Sheffield University .My committee vowed to take the East African Society to a new dimension. You can be sure that there is much more to come!

The East African Society is open to people from all regions across the world and we urge you to join us in this effort. This will assist us to examine the historical experiences of various cultures and nationalities in order to develop an enlightened appreciation of the struggles and values of each.Finally, from a personal point of view,our performance will always stay close at heart and it means alot to me.I have to thank the dancers for giving me one of my most profound memories.

I Love Women

2007-03-08T15:35:00.000-08:00

TODAY IS INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY!! I spent this day at a women’s workshop organised by the Black Students Committee and the East African Society here in Sheffield! This is an inspiring day where the world celebrates the economic, political and social achievements of women. This is a time of commemoration and celebration for the reason that we are all here- because our mothers endured the pain and pleasure of having us in this world.

THERE ARE THOSE that have dared question my respect for women and they know nothing about me. This is despite the fact that I have grown up in a household with 8 women, all raised by a strong mother and that my closest of friends happen to be strong women. I have little to prove. Instead I strongly urge you to give special recognition to women and strive to repeat this natural thing on a daily basis. Even Jesus, a man that saved all generations was born of an unknown virgin who became the mother of God.

PERSONALLY, it touches the very core of me that a woman proudly and tirelessly carried me, carried a whole life, in her womb for nine months. In addition to that, since all ten of us are now grown up, she continues to exhibit the sheer strength of human spirit and duty to mankind by engaging in several initiatives aimed at alleviating poverty amongst the rural poor in Thika District Kenya. This has further led her to win a Presidential Award. To me she is God's gift to mankind. It gives me so much honour to know that this is a legacy that will continue as we play the duty owed to future generations.

SITTING DOWN and having tea with women from the Mau Mau War Veteran Association (ngorongo Branch)made me see that we need not look far for our mother heroes. We need not reach out for the Hillary Clintons, Oprah Winfreys, Condoleezzas and the likes for inspiration!! Women have done more for us Kenyans more than the history we are given suggests. For example, on March 16, 1922, protestors (both Men and Women) gathered outside the Nairobi police station, across from the Norfolk Hotel, to protest the arrest of Harry Thuku a die-hard that was against colonial oppression. The then Colonial Secretary Sir Charles Browning ordered the defiant crowd to vacate the premises or face severe consequences. However, the women in the crowd felt that they had to be more militant in calling for Thuku’s release. This was not a view shared by the men.

IT IS THEN THAT the women began to shout at and ridicule their male colleagues as not being real men. They specifically asked the men to hand over their trousers as the women were determined to have Thuku released. These insults and ridicule alongside other acts such as displaying their naked selves as a curse to the men for their inaction led the men to engage in a more militant front in the call for Thuku’s release leading to a confrontation with the loyalist police leading to deaths and injuries on both sides.

IN RECENT TIMES, we remember the hunger strike at Freedom Corner in February 1992 by mothers of political prisoners which provided a platform for a cross section of Kenyans to speak out against the draconian policies of the Moi regime and set the stage for a much wider, more militant coming together of popular forces.

THE AFRICAN WOMAN fought and was central to our liberation and there is a duty on everyone to fight for the full liberation of the African Woman. According to Gandhi, "only when the woman is liberated from the slavery of the kitchen, that her true spirit may be discovered". This does not mean that women should not cook, but only that women ought to be encouraged to take up their rightful place in the society.

A WHOLE GENERATION of women leaders came up influenced by Gandhi's vision. Still we only need to look amongst us and within ourselves just as Liberia did by electing the first woman president in Africa, a reality that only remains a dream in the United States. Maybe its time that the world learnt from Africa.

I HOPE that you will be inspired. MOST OF ALL I WISH ALL WOMEN and men AN INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY!!

The Idea Across the Walls of my Heart

2007-02-26T14:46:00.000-08:00

I HAVE ALWAYS VIEWED MYSELF AS AN IDEA! I see myself as a star that shines and lights that village by the valleys of River Chania. My childhood was lived in the valleys of Ngethu where I attended nursery school and my early years of primary school. Dad used to take my brother and I to the roaring waters of Chania river early in the morning. You can still hear the sounds and the roaring of river Chania as you walk down the valley by father's house. During our forefathers' heroic and enduring struggles, the Chania's waters cleansed their sweating and bruised bodies, including my grandfather; Sebastian Muiruri who fought for the independence of Kenya. Our women fetched its waters, sweet waters that fed a lifetime.

I CAN STILL SEE my grandmother sitted on her three legged stool (njung’ua) telling us folk stories whilst blowing into the pipe to keep the fire lit. Then she would remove the hot sufuria (cooking pan) with her bear hands and serve us tea in very huge mugs. As a child I decided that it is better to live in this life than to merely observe amidst the wind, literally. I would stand in a way that I could not see any part of my body, just to see how the world is beautiful and imagine that I was not there. I was less than five years old then, and I felt it was better to be in the world and be part of nature’ beauty.

AT 27...I AM AT MY BEST with no apologies. I find myself right on track literally by the years with the personal dreams that befriended me, the dreams that due to my past could only be shared with my parents and close friends. Now the future is here and I feel the need to confirm the foundations of my life in order to live my dreams. First of all identity is everything. I am a Pan-African, a kikuyu and Ngethu star. My cultural beliefs are central to my personal development.

IN THIS LIFE, I intend to move mountains and be one of life’s greatest success stories; at least to my people. We shape our realities with our dreams, hopes and aspirations. I am an idea that turned into hope, then belief and now conviction. Always knowing I am winning even when seemingly losing, being passionate, finding laughter and smiling with my eyes, giving hope to all and showing my heart to all, having the confidence and courage at all times and looking into everyone eyes is what it will take. Most of all believing in God and acknowledging the love and protection he has always accorded me will light the path I create. Love is the greatest gift that God gives to all, Love is that which God fills on earth through us in order that we share. GOD IS LOVE!!

From Sheffield to Ngethu and Back to Myself

2007-02-04T05:44:00.000-08:00

IT’S GREAT TO BE BACK! It’s been a while since I last wrote here. I left Sheffield on the 23rd of December back to the place where I was destined to be born. Now I know that destiny has no recollection and is simply an end to all that is born.

I HAVE TO CONFESS as I readily admitted to myself, that before I left this country to go home, I was going crazy, mad and nuts and any other thing of the sort that the colonial language may care to express. In my language I was about to ‘kuguruka’.

SO I WENT HOME. I met, saw and rediscovered everything that ever inspired me. All the questions that had trapped my mind in my body were answered. This is now 2007, the year that I hope to make the most progress in my PhD.

NOW BACK with all the answers, I ask myself what I asked myself in 2005, the most successful year of my life. Being dedicated to School is only one thing, its important to think outside the box. In 2005, I wrote:

“WHAT DOES THIS YEAR HAVE IN STORE FOR ME? Or is the question, what do I have in store for this year? My quest to find love and to live in it and share with love all human beings is my highest wish.

“YES THIS IS MY UTMOST GOAL IN LIFE and it takes a lot of will to achieve it. My soul is strong and will live for all humanity. I was blessed with the gift of life, to breathe in and out seems the simplest and easiest of things, but it is not the same for everyone. Yes I appreciate and remain forever grateful but I will strive to ensure that it is easier for everyone else as well.

“YES I KNOW I am a strong person and whose character ensures triumph in the face of all adversity. But I realise that it is not the same as everyone, yet they are human just like me and how human it would be to share myself with them and display the strength of the human spirit by simply showing myself.

“I KNOW that I do advocate for the highest state of humanity, yet I know that I am in this world and so many before me have sold their souls to the ways of the world. This has been the single most profound fear. Is I am what I say I am, then why do I have this fear in my heart. I am glad that I have this fear for it should confront me during the times that the line will blur and I will resort back to what makes the essence of me: my heart for all.

“I MANY A TIME think and feel what I do not understand, I have for many years have said and written things I cannot comprehend. Many a time I have understood but not connected all I say to the circumstances that present themselves. I am I living in the past or do these things prepare me for the days that the bigger picture will avail itself before my very eyes?

“I TALK OF EMPOWERING MY PEOPLE I yet given the paper and pen, I cannot list their names and what consoles me is my beliefs for they are good and must be for the good. I seek to see deeper and I look at people’s eyes seemingly identify myself with them in ways that have not been expressed in a comprehensive way. So I trudge on living and knowing what in the end all will come to light.

“HAVING THE WILL, always knowing I am winning even when seemingly losing, finding laughter and smiling with my eyes, giving hope to all and showing my heart to all, having the confidence and courage at all times and looking into everyone eyes is what it will take. Most of all believing in God and acknowledging the love and protection he has always accorded me will light the path I create. Love is the greatest gift that God gives to all, Love is that which God fills on earth through us in order that we share. God is Love.”

Recalling Ngethustar's Celebration of a Landmark First

2006-12-14T07:39:00.000-08:00

LAST YEAR, on December 14th 2005, I graduated from the University of London having led the class with a Distinction in the LLM Public International Law and awarded the Draper’s Company Prize for Academic Excellence. Exactly a year later, I share and celebrate this success with all people who believe in hope, love and triumph for mankind.

THIS IS A SPECIAL MESSAGE TO MY FRIENDS: That All Dreams will come true by belief in God and remaining real to oneself. It all starts with hope, then hope turns in to belief and into conviction. To then acquire passion is the greatest gift one can have because brings our dedication and consistency in pursuit of the way of the cause. The last seven days before the date of my graduation were one of the most important days of my life but also the most fun. What is happiness that is not shared? What is it worth? There are some may people that I am blessed to have in my life to go though the difficult times, trials and tribulations of this much fragile world.

IT WAS A GREAT IDEA to hire a Fan Van full of happiness and love. The Fan Van was a white 17 Seater minibus that we rode in for 7 days. For almost a week, we woke up at dawn daily in order to be on an extremely tight schedule. What really amazed me, beyond what words can express, was the absolute determination to get up early and n time exhibited by my friends despite the late drunken nights in order to make the 14t of December 2005 the resounding success that it was. The Fan Van and the crew left Manchester on the 13th of December for a tour in Sheffield, a beautiful city built on 7 hills. The scenery on the country side was breath taking.

THE TOUR around the historical sites was captained by Dave, a PhD Colleague of mine at the University of Sheffield. He led all of us in to a Steel Museum and gave us one and Half hours to walk around the museum. Kenyans will always be Kenyans. They were done in 15 minutes and bored stiff. What was exiting was the stop at the bar. I remember ordering 8 shots of JD and puzzled as to why they were put in separate glasses. When I asked the waiter why she had not put the shots in one glass, she told me that it was against the law to mix all of them in one glass but that I was free to do it myself. I was glad to. After that I recall that it had to take my dad to hold my hand and lead me out of the pub to the waiting Fan Van.

KORKI AND BRIAN drove us to London. By the time Korki and I returned the Fan Van, the following had had their share if love and happiness in the fan Van. The Folks, Korki, Brenda, Brian,Wanj, Gachera,Nduta, Liz, Hatim, Sheve, Muthoni, Silvi, GG, Ck, Noni, Dave, Jamie, Jane, Caleb, Moreen and 7 other middle aged women that we gave a ride to some pub. In my HI5 Journals I wrote that I would dress as a Maasai Warrior and that once my name was called in the graduation, I would get onto that stage and dance. Many people texted me, sent me emails and called to ask if I pulled it off. Well, its all on video and the pictures s are still on my hi5 webpage. Basically I had this long spear that Gachera and my Dad somehow smuggled through customs and into this country. I also carried a drum on my shoulder and a Kenyan Flag that Ngina gave me as a present to complete my full Maasai attire.

I WILL SAY THIS IN SIMPLE TERMS. I stole the show, it became the Jamesession. When my name was called, I beat the drum and got on to the stage, I danced and Danced and got the loudest cheers with all the light on me. A few minutes of fame they might have been, but fully lived they were. That day I was the most beautiful person in London and even the newly crowed Miss World could not have been prettier than me. So many people from all walks of life and from diverse nations asked to be take n a photo with me. I did it for the people in Ngethu, the people who have so little yet so full of wealth in the laughter in their hearts.

AT THE END OF THE DAY, and as the beating of the drum came to a halt, I graduated with a in Masters LLM Public International Law. I also won the Drapers Company Prize for academic excellence. All I can say that it was a pleasure beating all those white people. Life has colour and is truly beautiful. There is so much to love and to share. While my names and those of my father ay appear on the certificates, this story has only been half-told. I only know too well that our success was made possible by certain people in my life. So I will never say I did this nor did that because the truth is that we got here together.

SPECIAL THANKS to the people that have been with me this week to celebrate the success of my family and our people its been an great experience. Thanks for those that emailed, called and texted to wish me a great time including... It was a great occasion for my Parents, Gachera and Liz to meet the very best of my friends. That week became a reunion of old friends and at one time we discovered that Korki,Gachera,Caleb Njuno James Macharia, Liz and I all went o Hospital Hill Primary. Korki and Sheve had not met in 8 years. Special thanks to Brian Mwangale who is the perfect definition of a best friend.

TO LAURA O’LEARY in a special way, who proof read all my written work, and still does for my current thesis. Laura's corrections, comments suggestions, and opinion contributed to the award of a distinction. To Kariuki Mathu and James Macharia my greatest friends of over 16 years. Thanks for standing with me through all these years. Special thanks to the Brenda, the real queen in our eyes and who I have known for many years. Thanks for all the conversations that we have and for being in complete oneness with me. We know the love and kindness that she extends to us all. Special thanks to Chiedza for the relentless belief in me especially you when I needed you most. Chi, Laura Brian and I, for the last three years learnt to look for the opportunities in the face of adversity and living with you in our days at Kent was the best experience in the UK and one that prepared me for what is on going.

THANKS SLY MACHARIA and Congratulations for your graduation and the big opportunities that you have already been offered. We know what it was like going through what we did. My special gratitude and thanks to Wanjiru wa Maina MD. Wanjiru made my graduation what it was, full of colour, happiness and laughter. Most of all she is one of the most important people in my life. Thanks to Sam for the realisation you bring into my life. You are more important to me than you know. Thanks to the Nyari crew, as always,..Haki hakuna Kurara. Thanks Kui,Tome,Utita,Tinii,Manga,Weru,Muthoni,Paul,Nduta,Kennethia,Wachira,Sandra,Madi,Angie,Dorothy, Crystal, Kari, Joan and all the other nyari people..its the love all the way.To the Sheffield crew, Ngina, Muthoni, Silvie,kiki and Mbugua I love you guys. Thanks to all those that could not make it but sent text, called and emailed. Your presence was much felt.

MOST OF ALL SPECIAL THANKS TO MY LOVING FAMILY, for all the love and support. Especially to my Dad who is my best friend, my inspiration and my guide. My dad taught me that you may not be able to go out on one Friday night but you can go out there and be the best in the world. To my mum who I always remind that she is God's daily gift to humanity and how blessed I am that she carried me in her womb for 9 months, raised me to be the man I am and was a mother to 10 others all at the same time.Special thanks to my siblings. Muiruri and Gachera, Carol, Doreen, Frankie,Liz and Jazz.I love you guys for all eternity.

THIS ACHIEVEMENT is dedicated to my dad and family. Specially dedicated to those many old men and women that sang Ngemi for me at the airport the first time I left Kenya for the UK on 14th September 2002 and who some are no longer with us to celebrate this achievement, the very first in the region. Finally, I believe in Angels. This is only the beginning. HERE IS WISHING YOU ALL A VERY MERRY XMAS AND A VERY HAPPY 2007.

Congratulations to the Award Winning East African Society

2006-12-11T12:51:00.000-08:00

I am happy to present the winners of the Sheffield’s International Food Evening held on the 18th of November 2006. The categories were;

Best Food- East African Society.
Best Stall- East African Society.
Best Overall -East African Society.

As president of now an award winning East African Society, I wish to thank all the people that steered us to success. Importantly I wish to thank the members of the Society who stuck to a theme of not only being a representative society but a participatory society as well.

I am also grateful for the support and confidence that the Committee and the members have accorded me in my quest to take the East African Society to a new dimension. You can be sure that there is much more to come. We hope to make a dramatic entry during the International Cultural Night as well as hold a Black Women’s workshop and a Pan African Conference with the Black Student’s Committee.

The bandwagon has been set rolling and this is neither the start nor the end of a new Era for a society that is certainly destined to be great.

Best Wishes

James ‘Ngethustar’ Muiruri

President of the East African Society

Ngethustar elected as the New President of the East African Society

2006-11-01T03:03:00.000-08:00

YES IT HAS BEEN A WHILE since I last wrote here. I hope that this finds everyone in good health. Last week was a great week for me. I delivered two powerful presentations here in Sheffield which were very well received. The first presentation was entitled ‘African Blood and Redemption: The International Community’s Poisonous Legacy! The second one was in partnership with Muthoni and it was on African Solutions to poverty. I also featured in a BBC Africa Radio programme which dealt with issues on the Darfur Conflict in Sudan.

THE BIGGEST FEAT yet was when I got elected as the first president of the newly formed East African Society on 27th/10/06. The East African Society was founded in 2006 to recognise, celebrate, and affirm the East African presence at Sheffield University. During the elections took place, I introduced myself as James Muiruri from Nge’thu in the Central Province of East African republic of Kenya. I am a firm believer of African Unity and our region’s place in a 21st century international community. I am proud and delighted to say that the three countries in the East of Africa are represented in the society committee.

AS THE FIRST DIRECTLY ELECTED PRESIDENT of the East African Society, my immediate plans include the following. I together with our committee will draw up a constitution listing out the aims and purposes of the East African Society as well as its rules and procedure.. I shall work very hard for the implementation of the East African Society website. We shall liaise with other East African societies in the UK, Kenyan and beyond, organise trips, we shall hold East African socials, hold debates as well as invite guest speakers. Notably, we intend to make a dramatic appearance during the Food evening International cultural night ON THE 18TH OF NOVEMBER! All are welcome.

WE SHALL WORK HARD in co-ordinating society activities, supporting the committee members in their efforts, liaising with other societies on matters beneficial to the society, creating shared vision and purpose, strategic planning, feedback and appraisal to ensure that the East African Society becomes the best and most successful society.We shall also give back to the community. The East African Presence will be felt here in Sheffield and a passionate legacy of African pride well established.

I TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY, on behalf of the committee members, to thank the members. YOU are the ones that form the backbone of the East African Society. Special thanks for all that voted as well as those that sent their support. The East African Society is open to people from all regions across the world and we urge you to join us in this effort. This will assist us to examine the historical experiences of various cultures and nationalities in order to develop an enlightened appreciation of the struggles and values of each.

THANK YOU

NGETHUSTAR

Ngethu Star on the 3rd of October 1979

2006-10-03T07:15:00.000-07:00

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY PEOPLE…The 3rd day of October 1979 was the day that my angel Rachel Muiruri introduced me to this world. The venue was at the Mater Hospital in Mariakani South B and since then, it’s been on. Out of innocent childhood, through turbulent teen years and into complete adulthood, it’s been a journey full of blessings and painful lessons of life.

OF COURSE my childhood was lived in the valleys of Ngethu where I attended nursery school and my early years of primary school. Dad used to take my brother and I to the roaring waters of Chania river early in the morning. That river has fed countless generations and cleansed the Mau Mau warriors including Sebastian Muiruri who fought for the independence of Kenya

I CAN STILL SEE my grandmother sitted on her three legged stool (njung’wa) telling us folk stories whilst blowing into the pipe to keep the fire lit. Then she would remove the hot sufuria (cooking pan) with her bear hands and serve us tea in very huge mugs. As a child I decided that it is better to live in this life than to merely observe amidst the wind, literally. I would stand in a way that I could not see any part of my body, just to see how the world is beautiful and imagine that I was not there. I was less than five years old then, and I felt it was better to be in the world and be part of nature’s beauty

AT 27...I AM AT MY BEST with no apologies. I find myself right on track literally by the years with the personal dreams that befriended me, the dreams that due to my past, could only be shared with my parents and close friends. Now the future is here and I feel the need to confirm the foundations of my life in order to live my dreams. First of all identity is everything. I am a Pan-African, a kikuyu and Ng’ethu star. My cultural beliefs are central to my personal development.

I KNOW that I do advocate for the highest state of humanity, yet I know that I am in this world and so many before me have sold their souls to the ways of the world. This has been the single most profound fear. If I am what I say I am, then why do I have this fear in my heart? I am glad that I have this fear for it should confront me during the times that the line will blur and I will resort back to what makes the essence of me: my heart for all.

HAVING THE WILL, always knowing I am winning even when seemingly losing, finding laughter and smiling with my eyes, giving hope to all and showing my heart to all, having the confidence and courage at all times and looking into everyone eyes is what it will take. Most of all believing in God and acknowledging the love and protection he has always accorded me will light the path I create. Love is the greatest gift that God gives to all, Love is that which God fills on earth through us in order that we share. God is Love.

FOR MY LIFE, I thank my heroes; my parents that have continue to lay the tracks for our people’s prosperity. No doubt I will be in a legitimate leader guided by their wisdom and love. To my 7 siblings for whom I am prepared to die and whose love and support propels me to success.To the over 50 girl-children that my mother has adopted into her children's home and who have become my nieces.

THIS PARAGRAPH is to all those that have formally and informally supported and befriended my family. Specially to all the inhabitants of Ngethu village in Thika District, the place of my roots. All that I am is for all you beautiful people who form the backbone to my life!! I thank all those that know are included in my list of thanks for having me in their life.

FOR NOW, its African History in the making.

My African History

2006-09-04T07:20:00.000-07:00

IN A SPEECH delivered to the United Nations in 1968, H.M. Haile Selassie I of Ethiopia stated '[t]hat until the philosophy which holds one race superior and another inferior is finally and permanently discredited and abandoned: That until there are no longer first-class and second class citizens of any nation; That until the color of a man's skin is of no more significance than the color of his eyes; That until the basic human rights are equally guaranteed to all without regard to race; That until that day, the dream of lasting peace and world citizenship and the rule of international morality will remain but a fleeting illusion, to be pursued but never attained.'These very words were later popularised in the song 'war' by Bob Marley, one of my greatest heros.

IN A CRUEL WORLD, the powerful dominate the weak. Africa has been abused, ignored, but too strong to be eliminated. Now, Look at the rising star, with a strong and growing population, with abundant natural resources, and passionate citizens and inspiring intellectuals, hard working and devoted women and men as well as with a blossoming youth eager to acquire knowledge .

PRESIDENT Kwame Nkurumah said it,Bob Marley sang it, 'Africa [Must] Unite'. And henceforth, I vow to be one of those that ensure to the African dream is realised. I am immensely inspired by the words of Patrice Emery Lumumba who was assassinated at the age of 36, that the day approaches, when Africa will write its own history.

I HAVE just submitted about 40,000 words of my thesis to my supervisor. Studying African regional security has become a daily part of my life. No wonder I am well past half way through my thesis despite the fact that this is only the end of my first year.Today, I miss those that I represent, those that watched me grow up brought me to brighten the lives of our future generations. It is odd that I study about my continent in a far away land. But I am proud to be an African researching on Africa.At times we have to be pragmatic and I am looking forward to conducting my field studies during the next academic year. I consider this venture as part of my pilgrimage, a spiritual journey into what makes me part of the African heritage as well as to know my role in its future.

FOR NOW, I observe,learn and ready to jump into the deep end and to swim with the sharks.

Life's Challenges, Trials, Exams and Triumph

2006-08-14T17:35:00.000-07:00

IN MY LAST blog, I wrote of the modest marks that I attained in primary school and the humiliation I often endured at constantly being last in my class at one of Kenya's most prestigious high schools.I will always emphasise this point so that those that belittle others can bow in shame. However, most of all this is meant to encourage those that can make it but lack the voice to tell them that they can beat the odds.

I WOULD never have thought that I could study law. In fact, I did not even fill the university application forms that we were to fill whilst in high school.One only needs to look at my earlier academic background and understand why.The system just doesnt believe in those that the society shuns Now having studied an undergraduate and post graduate degree in law, I wonder what the big deal was back then. Surprisingly heads still turn when one says they are studying law. ' Oh you must like to read then', they say. I wonder if studying in the other discliplines is any diffrent. However, I have the feeling that this is just another of those steriotypical notions that adolise the legal, medical and other professions such as piloting etc.

STILL, I will never forget my experience in the University of London whilst studying for my masters in the LLM- International Law. After studying for an undegraduate degree for three years, I found myself studying for a superior course in just one year.Well what I knew is that studying for exams is one thing, sitting for the exams themselves is another. It should be surprising that what one studies for 12 months is determined by a mere12 hours of sitting in an exam room. I have to say that it is an enduring experience. Each exam takes three hours. Now you can imagine that 3 hours is approximately the time it would take you to drive toMtito Andei from Nairobi, Kenya. Sitting for three hours can be an exhausting exercise but trust me that three hours in the exam room can seem like a mere 10 minutes.

TIME seems to move so fast yet there is usually so much to write and still being relevant. It is not the questions that are necessarily hard but the exam conditions that are difficult. In fact patience and calm are the key virtues and are just as important as what the questions requires you to answer. This is because frustration can easily lead one to mess up a year of hard work in a matter of 10 minutes. One inspiring thought however was, that after so many years of exams, I knew that I probably would never have sit for written exams at University ever again. A taught masters is the highest level in which one can sit for written exams. As you know, pursuing a PhD is purely research and one is examined by an oral exam called the Viva.

EVERY DAY I dream of that day that I will stand before a panel to defend and convince them how my thesis makes a significant contribution to knowledge.After that I shall convert my thesis into an important book. The year 2005 was the greatest and most successful year of my life. Not only did I lead the University of London with a score of a Distinction in the LLM Public International law, I was also awarded the Draper's Company Prize for Academic Excellence. In addition I was offered an unconditional offer from Sheffield University which containes a full departmental scholarship award under the supervision reknown expert of international law. Despite the clear path that I believe I am destined, this is not a small feat for that boy from Ngethu.

HAVING SAID THAT, I know that along the way, just like those dark days when few believed I could do it, there shall be serious challenges. Amidst this success, theywill be trials and temptation as I engage in the real world which I can say from a personal perspective, is a dangerous world. Because of this, I know I will have to be extremely careful in my approach and I have to give extreme thought each time I have to make a decision.However, there are those that guide the Ngethu Star in me, too special to be mentioned here.

Lessons From High School

2006-08-02T15:42:00.000-07:00

TODAY I have been thinking about my experiences in high school.Mangu was a great experience I got to live the life that states that 'no one is a child of a lesser god' and how one treats others shapes this life. Mangu had people from all walks of life and teachers of all kinds. I know that my KCPE marks (350 out of 700) were not enough to get me to Mangu but later I realised the importance of examining the bigger picture, which provides for the occasional necessary evil and that everyone deserves an equal chance. No one ever ought to be underated just because of the steriotypical thinking of society.

NATURALLY, and given my modest grades, it was difficult to fit in within one of the most prestigious institutions in Kenya .One only needs to look at the history as well as the present positions that ex Mangu Men hold in order to understands the formidable contribution Mangu makes to the society. No matter how much I tried, I was always last, helpless and designated an intellectual dwarf amongst the country's finest brains.

STILL, with the help of the school's then basketball coach, I discovered one very legitimate way in which I could beat all the 'A 'students. I played basketball and loved it with a passion.Each time I met the so called 'brains of the country' on the basketball court, one thing became clear,I would emerge the best and this became one way in which I could walk with my head up high. Because of basketball, I travelled to places in Kenya that I had only heard of whilst watching the weather forecast. I also got to travel to Uganda and Zimbabwe and other places that I had only previously seen on the Atlas Map.

THE GAME of basketball taught me the heartfelt pain one can go through in the aftermath of a great loss.I will never forget the 1996 Basketball finals held in Kakamega when we lost to our rivals Aquinas. Despite the fact that I was not part of the team that year, I had joined them as they trained very hard for this particular game.In the end, just like us, Aquinas lost, cried and wept after they too had lost to Mombasa Baptist in the final game. This period introduced me to the harsh realities of this world, that it is not the best that necessarily wins.Just like love, being the best is not enough. One has to be in harmoy with nature.But, there were other lessons.

DESPITE Mangu's prestigious status, there was a clear class and tribal struggle and the system was full of intellectual patronage. This is why all that survived the Mangu experience have something special to give, they acquire this unique status. When you brush shoulders with people from all walks of life, all you can do is learn a lot.But learning is only one thing and living the lessons as well as adapting to what life has to offer, in given contexts, remains the ultimate challenge.

'Tear Down These Walls'

2006-07-19T12:31:00.000-07:00

Today I am truly inspired and why should I not be? At 26 I am at my best and with no apologies. Yesterday I met my friend’s dad who reminded me of my importance in this world. In life, we either sell our souls or live up to our destiny. The rest of us walk on earth unaware of what brings us here and rest almost like rotten produce unworthy of neither sale nor purchase. The thought of the latter scares the hell out of me and sends chills down my spine. However, it is the thought of having my soul sold that scares me to the point that I would rather not think about but rather concentrate and strive to achieve that which I am to attain in this life.

I have made considerable progress on my thesis. Today I finished one of my chapters which examines the function of regionalism such as that advocated by the African Union, the European Union etc. In my last section, I observe that ‘a discussion of the function of regionalism by way of a historical synopsis invariably leads to the conclusion that the current international legal system is not only based on foundations of European origin but it is also largely dominated by western values advocated for, and attained during hegemonic struggles amongst powerful states.

Leopoldo Lovelace Jr observes that in the African context, ‘[t]he formation of the state system in Africa [was] primarily the result of a process of destruction of the native social and political systems and of the imposition of artificial constructs, concerning boundaries, population, and governmental institutions.’ Basically, the subject that I love to study and the way that the country of my birth operates is based on colonial concepts. What is disturbing is the compulsive acquiescence by Africans of the present territorial boundaries which ‘amount to a sanctioning, by Africa itself, of its own loss of identity.’

It is this colonial partitioning of Africa that has left it crippled with conflict. Wole Soyinka, Nigeria's Nobel-prize-winning writer and political satirist argues that ‘[we] should sit down with square-rule and compass and redesign the boundaries of African nations. If we thought we could get away without this redefinition of boundaries back when the Organization of African Unity was formed, surely the instance of Rwanda lets us know in a very brutal way that we cannot evade this historical challenge any longer.’

I respectfully disagree. Ali Mazrui says, before the advent of colonialism, we were all just Africans, there were no Tanzanians, Nigerians or Kenyans etc. The phrase ‘Tear down this wall’ has been described as the famous challenge from U. President Ronald Reagan to Soviet Union leader Mikhail Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall that led to the end of the Cold War. In the African context, the artificial boarders imposed on the African continent by colonial savages are the ones that need to be torn down.

As Bob Marley sings...Africa, Unite'Cause we're moving right out of BabylonAnd we're going to our father's land
How good and how pleasant it would beBefore God and man, yeah
To see the unification of all Africans, yeah'

Head Over Heels

2006-07-13T09:00:00.000-07:00

Today I turned my Thesis on its head! Yes You Heard me!! I knew that my thesis and the way I look at it will change as time goes on. However I never knew this would happen so soon. Having written two chapters, I find that its better to have my second chapter as my first and vice-versa. And guess what? I love the way its going.

I attended a party the other day held by one of my friends who is going to settle in Kenya and I have nothing but admiration. At the party, I met a Rwandese girl whose people underwent the cruelty of the 1994 Rwandan Genocide and which forms the inspiration of my Thesis. I have not felt so moved in a long time and I felt in complete oneness with her. The fact that 500,000 to one Million of her people were slaughtered in 100 days was so profound to her that she desires to study international law. Now am even sure that I am not alone. Still, we now look at Sudan and see Rwanda only that the numbers are not high enough for ‘Hotel Darfur.’

A lot of things are going through my heart and soul. I can feel all my beliefs principles and all that I stand for in this life coming together. At the same time I am now heads over heels, it’s an amazing feeling with so much excitement and uncertainty with nature taking course as the only guarantee.

A True African

2006-06-21T04:17:00.000-07:00

Today, I woke up in a happy mood and engaged in my research as usual. Then I stumbled on to a speech that I am sure will inspire me to work harder today. I read the opening statement of one Mr Amara Essy who was the Secretary-General of the Organisation of African Unity just before it was transformed into the new African Union on 9th July 2002. On the eve of the launch of the African Union, and to a powerful audience that included the Secretary General of the United Nations Mr. Kofi Annan, South African president Thambo Mbeki amongst others, Mr Amara stated that for:

‘[T]he people of Africa of today and tomorrow, a new era will dawn on Africa and for Africa. This sun will brighten all the cities, villages and hamlets of our Continent. The message is that of hope and the rejection of fatality. This new day which symbolizes the future victorious conquests on all social, economic and political fronts, ushers in also the new pages of the history of our Continent which we are going to write’.

I remember the period that the African Union was established as if it were only yesterday, particularly those morning that I would sit in the kitchen reading about the eventful celebration across Africa, on the Nation and Standard newspapers, whilst having my traditional breakfast of Kenyan tea and bread with blueband. I recall the attention that Muammar Al-Gaddafi received in Durban especially in regard to his massive tent and the applause which Nelson Mandela, who is probably the personification of all that Africans would like their leaders to be, received.

Who would have known that just four years later I would be sitting here engaged in research on the important topic of African Regional Security under the African Union’s Constitutional Framework? And how proud I am to be an African analysing Africa from an African perspective and its interaction with the world,including its capability of offering valuable lessons to the international community.

But to me, there is something else that was special about what Mr Amara Essy had to say, and one that is to be looked upon in the context of Africa’s history of slavery, colonialism and imperialism. In establishing the African Union,

‘We are on the road to guarantee that never again no other non-African will define Africa’

Mangu High School

2006-06-14T09:33:00.000-07:00

High school, there is nothing like it! I was fortunate to be in one of the greatest High Schools in Kenya. Mangu High School, P.O Box 314 Thika.My own Father had attended this presitigious institution 32 years prior to my entry.My high school days were turbulent. Yet in them I found direction. Still,I have to confess that I never learnt much in class but I am glad not to have taken interest in the Chemistry, Biology and Power Mechanics of those days. Instead I loved to play Basketball. I still believe that I am the best power-forward that ever played in the court. Most of all, I met a mentor, the Basketball coach Paul Otula Agal whose belief in my abilities further led me to later in life, transform my basketball abilities into success on the academic field.

I did not perform well academically whilst in Mangu High. In fact when I went to collect my results alongside intellectual giant friends, the teachers would greet them by saying 'Well done' , 'Congratulations' etc while they would simply say 'Hi James' and move to the next 'bright' student and continue with their praises. In particular, my maths teacher during my time in Mangu approached me with a distinct level of indifference and I could tell he viewed me as a hopeless boy in Mangu brought to the centre of academic excellence, not by honour, but by the sheer strength of money.

Mangu was indeed an invaluable experience for everyone with differing degrees of touch that continues to shape the way we, the former students of that great school, think and interact with the world. The basketball court became the only platform through which I could unleash my venom on those A-students. Well, even though those days are gone, I can still hear the school coach persistently reminding me that I can go on and be the best in other areas of human influence, and it is on that track that I know I am on.

I hope Tomorrow Comes

2006-06-07T02:38:00.000-07:00

TODAY is my mother's birthday.

WHEN I was a little child, I would open my eyes wide and look at the beauty that surrounded me in Ngethu. I would then block my eyes from seeing any part of my body in a way that I would imagine that I am not physically present in the world and that my eyes, which are the windows of the soul, were the only ones that connected me to this earth.

I THEN would look around and wonder at the serenity surrounding me. Is the world more beautiful with me in it, or is it better to watch it from here [amidst my soul]? Should I stand here and stamp my feet in amazement at God's creation or would I rather be the invisible as the wind walking across the wide world? I used to ask myself.

AFTER a long thought, I would say to myself that the world is more beautiful and better off with me in it. The more I have grown, the more the world has become more important to me in a personal and profound way. The more breaths I take, the more I feel important to the world. Today, I am 26 years old. I ask myself, what if I was to lose the world? What if the world was to lose me?? Would I remember the world? Would the world remember me??

I KNOW that I would remember the world. Does that mean that the world is more important to me than I am to the world? I know that to be remembered by the world, I have to stand for something. I want to live and die for a principle. I know that I have not reached my zenith yet and it is why everyday that I lie on my bed, I HOPE THAT TOMORROW COMES.

My Letter to a Young African Sister

2006-06-06T12:55:00.000-07:00

Never think that age will ever be an excuse. Never think that because you are young, you are allowed to mess once or twice. Never knowingly make a mistake unless its furthers a more important idea.

Plan your life from now, think of ten years, see where you want to go, capture those moments in your dreams that make you think of yourself as the best thing that could ever have happened to this world. Be broad and flexible enought to adapt to changing circumstances. Most of all, keep your best thoughts to yourself, they are your jewels which will play their rightful role at the right time of this life.

Think of high ideals, think of children's dreams, think of trees and waters flowing down the stream, think of the poor and look at the grass and wonder at how you fit so neatly in nature its best.This is a journey, some of us are chosen..start your life by realising this, that as much as your are your parent's child, you are very much a child of this world with parents that are blessed to bring you into this life.

Think very widely, when you see someone, look deep into their eyes, see what their body language tells you. Never..and I repeat, never take anyone for granted. The best thing in life is faith. Trust God, love him praise him and adore him. I need not tell you hi or how I am doing, I need not ask you how you are or what your plans are. BUT I give you these words from my heart. They are nothing new but they are said by me to you, its all you need. Do not get lost in this world, never sell your soul and do not act, just be yourself. Do not worry because you are made you for very defined reasons which you shall know by the time you are 27 years old.

For now, you are your own person. Be on your own around everyone. Talk to people, be positive and know that everything will work out. You have to believe

A PhD For What?

2006-06-01T13:56:00.000-07:00

There is a lot of work to be done and I am now fully re-engaged with my PhD. It involves a lot of thinking, reflecting and then placing a lot of information in a coherent manner. So once you do this for three years, you acquire a culture of thinking and become a Doctor of Philosophy which is of Greek origin meaning "Teacher of Philosophy.

The most interesting this is that anyone can do it [even for one that got at E in Maths like me]and let me tell you, all it does is give you confidence because society is arranged to think of it in that way. I do believe that everyone has their own legitimacy to act and think as they think fit, for so long as those acts and thoughts do not cause harm to the society.

I strongly believe that people should aspire to make everyone happy and content in order to acquire freedom from want. It is this hunger and inequality, brought about by education and lack of it that makes this world full of pain and danger. These are all natural thoughts and which everyone is born with. There is nothing special to it so trust me I only study all this in order to achieve that legitimacy that the world expects and so that I can stand on that podium and say these very things.

Look at the dog on the right, [ or imagine a dog in red shades]we call this a 'Gui' in our language. The PhD is just like the shades on the Gui, very funky but an imposition of western values and an extension of colonialism. Still some of us seem to do only what is expected of us but when the eagle lands it shall be true indeed that the weapons we collect in this journey will bite and terrorise their minds.

The Road to Doctorate

2006-05-15T08:05:00.000-07:00

When one graduates with a Distinction in the LLM Public International Law and attains an Award of Academic Excellence from the University of London, one must get the notion that amidst life's daily struggles,pain and endless enduring hurdles, there exists colour and beauty and that the world is both colourful and beautiful.

When one, in addition attains a Bachelor of Laws Honours Degree from the University of Kent and is gifted with a Mangu High School experience, it becomes clear that education is today's freedom and complete liberation from those dark colonial days.

However, when one is then offered a full Scholarship from the University of Sheffield, as an African researching on Africa, it is then that a fuller picture emerges.We shall break this chains of mental colonisation and reclaim the Continent's destiny.The old women will say the full five Ngemis and the men will dance around the Star that lit the Village with their blessings.